I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
