what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
