Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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