remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
