no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
