..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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