Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize