It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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