your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
