I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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