I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
