pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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