i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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