she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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