I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
