i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize