i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
