Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
