I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Randomize
