somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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