So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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