those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
