So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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