I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
