This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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