woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
4 words: hood of his car
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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