today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
