remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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