I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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