grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
