His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
