I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
