Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
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