Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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