mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
