If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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