When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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