HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
