The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
