Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
When did angry sex become our thing?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
