remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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