I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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