no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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