i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
