Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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