At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
