yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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