So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
