i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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