If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
