Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize