and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
