they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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