Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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