Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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