Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
