sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
