dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
