she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
how does that bad decision feel?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize