id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
