First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
