you mean i was at the winter classic?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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