margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
