idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
