I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I think i got beer on your cat.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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