If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
