We won't sleep together?
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
