I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
