we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
