Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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