He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
