I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
